just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
