I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
