walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
