I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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