"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
