Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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