I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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