i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
