afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
