writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
