This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
