Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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