i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
