oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
All the doctor said was why
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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