I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
