I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
