How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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