Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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