I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
