Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
now i know why i became what i already was.
only if we run a train.
done.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
