She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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