So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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