No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We have so much sex to catch up on
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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