I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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