worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Randomize
