in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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