____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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