I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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