Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
