Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
