guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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