Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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