i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
