both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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