Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize