Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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