Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
