i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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