Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
