By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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