Define "chronic" masturbator.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
