last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't deserve a penis
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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