i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
