So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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