? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
