I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
