I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
