apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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