I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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