Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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