Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
