CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
