so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
