I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize