Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
