Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize