I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
