Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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