whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
