Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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