Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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