I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
