Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
