somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
