jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize