I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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