what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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