someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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