pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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