I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
